05/29/04

I can't believe how dark it is. I cannot see much past my outstretched hands that are holding my gun. What I can see seems blurry though. Maybe it is the darkness that is causing my eyes not to adjust and focus. It is strange that I can't remember where I am or why I am here. I can feel my hands start to shake as I try to remember where Lucy is. I can't even recall if she is here or why we split up. I am not even sure where here is. The only thing I know for sure is that my name is Renee Muir and I am a Special Agent for the F.B.I. Beyond that it is so unclear.

I can feel my heart pound in my chest as my hand still shakes. I force myself to relax by taking a deep breath then I hear a shot in a distance. I try to determine where the sound came from. I look around hoping for another shot to get a better fix. Then another shot goes off. I turn in the direction from which it came. Then another shot rings out but it is in another location. My head pivots to see if I can see anything but nothing but darkness. Then shots ring out from all directions. I can't get a fix from where any of them are coming I just duck and pray that I don't get hit. Then I hear a voice call out, "Renee!" I lift my head and look in what I feel is the direction of the voice but I see nothing. Suddenly I feel a sharp pain on the back of my neck. Whatever I could see goes black as I loose consciousness.

My eyes slowly open. I don't know where I am or how long I have been here. I just know I am in a lot of pain. I can taste blood that has dripped into my mouth. I can feel part of my face has swelled up. My mid section is on fire and I think I might have a cracked rib. I realize that I am lying on a cold slab floor in a small room with one door. I don't know how I got here but I know it can't be good that I am here. I can't recall getting beaten either but the pain from my body tells me that is has been severe. Maybe it is my mind trying to protect me. Whatever it is I feel lost. Where is Lucy? Is she here? Is she alive? What is happening to me? I have this overwhelming fear that is taking over. I start shaking again and can feel myself start to sob when the door latches sound.

The door slowly opens enough for a body to be tossed into the room and it lands with a thud on the cold floor next to me. I slowly try to move to the body to see who it is and I recognize the hair. The clothes are unfamiliar a faded blue coverall outfit that is ragged and stained. I get close enough to her and I whisper, "Lucy are you alright?" She merely moans and tries to move. I sit up and cradle her head in my lap and I feel tears well up in my eyes as I look at her beaten face. Blood still flows from her mouth as I wipe the hair from her eyes only to see that one eye is swollen shut. "What happened?" is all I can mutter as I shake and hold on to her.

Through my tears I notice everything is changing. The walls dissolve and I am no longer seated on the floor cradling Lucy's head. I find that I am standing in a large room with a gun pointed at a man who is pleading for his life. All I feel is rage and hatred for this man. My hand that is holding gun starts to shake but I hold myself from pulling the trigger. The confusion of what just happened has gotten me unnerved as well as the intense feeling of anger and hatred. Then suddenly I feel a sharp pain in my side. While I was dealing with my confusion the pleading man managed to throw a knife at me. The hatred and the anger were so great that they minimized the pain. Yet the wound also increased the amount of hatred and anger I felt and I could no longer control my trigger finger. As if guided by my hate and anger my finger triggered the gun repeatedly till the clip was empty.

The man laid on the ground a ragged mess as his body pour blood from all the wounds. I drop to my knees and grasp at my head. The pain I feel is so intense. I can't keep my eyes open. So I find myself whimpering and going into the fetal position and closing my eyes and wishing the pain would go away.

The throbbing in my head is continues but I feel different, something has changed. The hatred is gone. The anger is gone along with it. That is not all I realize I am now in a bed. I try to get some idea if I can recall anything like where I am and why am I here. My head is so cloudy I can't think or recall why I am here. I am having no luck, I guess I am going to have to open my eyes and see where I am. I just know as soon as I open my eyes the pounding in my head will get even worse then it already is. I try to take a deep breath but I find it hard to breath. My lungs feel like they are on fire. The last time I felt like this I had smoked a pack of cigarettes while out drinking.

My eyes slowly open and I slowly look about. I see nothing that looks familiar. One thing is for sure this is no hotel room. There is a large TV across the room with an audio system. There are several pictures about the room that start me thinking. Then I adjust myself in the bed and I realize that I am completely naked. This sends alarms going off in my head cause at the same time I realize I am in a guy's bedroom. The pounding in my head starts to increase and to make matters worse my stomach starts to grumble. I slightly belch and feel that it is only a matter of time before I will need to be in the bathroom. I clutch the comforter to me as I look about the room. I see a door that leads to a bathroom. My stomach gurgles and my modesty is forgotten as I make a dash to the bathroom.

I stumbled a bit getting off the bed but manage to get to the toilet in time. I was kneeling on the cold tile floor naked as I spit up a few times but then I was mostly dry heaving. The pain in my sides tells me that I had done this recently. It doesn't surprise me though. The condition I am in I wouldn't be surprised if I had been doing this for days. I feel content clinging to the cold porcelain toilet as I keep my eyes closed and spit up a bit more. My body slumps down but I keep my head resting on the toilet just in case.

I then hear the door to the room open and a shock wave courses though my body. I realize I am naked as I feel the cold tile on my ass and my breast pressed up against the toilet. My brain is screaming for me to cover up and maintain some dignity but my body doesn't want anything to do with that. I hear the footsteps as the get near and I open my eyes to look at the door as my heart starts to race.

For a moment I think I am seeing an angel standing there as I try to focus on the person who is standing there. As my vision clears I notice it is Lucy in a long white bathrobe her hair is just hanging down about her shoulders and my heart starts to slow down as my body relaxes. Unfortunately this cause me to start dry heaving again and the pain is almost unbearable.

"And good morning to you too," Lucy spoke.

I looked over to her and tried to smile but it wasn't really a smile it was more of a grimace. "Sorry," I managed to mutter. Lucy just smiled

"Here drink this and take these. It will help the pain," Lucy told me as she handed me the drink and some aspirin.

I managed to shift myself on the floor so I was sitting there holding the glass to my forehead as I popped the aspirin into my mouth. I looked at the red drink and then up to Lucy with a question look on my face as I hoped she would understand that I wanted to know what was I about to drink.

"Just drink it. It will help you," she told me.

I was too tired to fight so I moved the glass from my forehead and took a sip. The sweet and tartness were having a battle in my mouth and the carbonation totally threw my taste buds for a loop. Yet it was strangely enjoyable and I took another sip. It seemed to taste better with the second sip. I drank some more and then I notice my mouth felt different. I did not have that bad case of cottonmouth that was setting in and the taste of the bile I was spitting up was gone.

"What's in this?" I asked. "Cause it is making a world of difference in my mouth".

"It is something Vic threw together. He said it is great for the morning after," Lucy began to explain. Alarms started going off in the back of my head as drank some more and listened to Lucy finish talking. "Vic said it is seltzer water lemon juice and cranberry juice mixed together".

As she finished talking the alarms that started in the back of my head had taken over me completely. My jaw dropped and I looked up at Lucy with a shocked look. She returned the look with startled surprise. I could tell she thought I was going to be sick again so she reached out for the glass. I gave her the glass and just sat there for a moment not moving. Lucy disappeared from the room for a second and came back in with a robe she wanted me to put on.

I forced myself to stand up and I looked at her as she helped me put on the robe. I could tell by the cut of the robe and the way it was too big for me that it was a men's robe. I wrapped the robe tightly against my body and asked Lucy, "Did you say Vic?"

Lucy's face turned serious as she looked at me seeming like she was trying to gaze into my mind through my eyes. "Yes I did say Vic," she replied.

My heart started to race and my hands started to shake as I clung to the robe. "I thought he was dead?" I managed to say as a tear started to escape from my eyes.

"Oh no," Lucy replied. As she looked deeply in to my eyes and pulled me close to hug her. "The memories are back," she whispered as she squeezed me to her.

I felt safe in her arms but at the same time I wanted to know what she meant when she said the memories are back. "What do you mean back?" I asked.

"The Vic memories. All the memories about Christy Erica and Jenna, they are all back aren't they?" Lucy asked as she looked at me waiting for an answer.

I was even more confused by what she had just told me. I couldn't say anything at all I just looked at Lucy and hoped she would explain it all. I needed some answers. I just wasn't sure I wanted to her what she had to say.

Lucy guided me out of the bathroom and moved me over to the bed. She sat me down and sat next to me as she held me close. She looked at me and seemed to be thinking of what she was going to say. I anxiously waited as the pounding in my head started top subside.

There was a slight knock on the door Lucy and looked over to the door as it started to slowly open. A voice called out, "Hey is everything okay?" Then a head appeared. It was a man and then I recognized the face and my heart raced and I felt myself loose control as everything went limp.

"Is she okay?" Vic asked as he moved into the room.

"Yeah it was a rough night though. You will never do that to her again or I am going to beat you myself," Lucy said with a smile.

"Hey she asked for it. I never go shot for shot with anyone unless they ask for it," Vic answered Lucy as he pleaded his case and he raised his hands in a mock surrender.

"I know, she has had a bug up her ass recently and wanted to take it out on some one and you were her target but it didn't work out the way she had it planned it seems," Lucy told Vic.

The door opened wider and Christy Erica and Jenna spilled into the room. They looked over at the bed and saw Vic standing there looking over at Lucy and Renee. Renee was in Lucy arms and not moving. "Is everything okay?" Erica asked.

"Yeah she is okay just passed out when Vic came in," Lucy said as she held onto Renee who was starting to stir. Last nights drinking has brought back some disturbing memories," Lucy said as she looked at everyone to see what their reaction would be. Everyone looked back at Lucy with concerned and puzzled looks.

Lucy took a deep breath and let it out slowly stroked the unconscious Renee's head and began to speak, "It was just before Labor Day, we were looking into some mysterious disappearances of some locals in a small town in upstate New York. Normally this would have never came to us but the people were reappearing but there memories had changed. They were different as if they had been reprogrammed".

"Whoa that sounds creepy," Jenna said as she slightly shivered at the thought of being altered mentally.

"That does sound out there," Vic added as he looked at Lucy.

"It was pretty bad Vic. It seemed that doctor Magnus had not perfected his mind reprogramming to work with everyone. Renee was slowly being reprogrammed but I was not. So instead of going through reprogramming I went through periodic beatings and torture," Lucy explained as she held on to the unconscious Renee.

"Doctor Magnus?" asked Erica.

"Yeah he was a leading scientist in brain wave therapy. He believed the brain was releasing certain waves that could be harnessed in order to heal or increase the human mind. Unfortunately he was experimenting with humans and it left several as vegetables. So he had his medical license revoked and was barred from doing any type of experimenting. Unfortunately that did not stop him from working underground," Lucy was explaining.

"When does that ever stop some wack job from continuing his craziness," Vic interrupted with a sarcastic tone.

"You are right but it did take him some time to get himself set up. He eventually got himself set up in a small upstate New York town and he started using the alias Mark Meeson", Lucy continued. "Except, he changed what he was doing with the mind. He went from expanding and healing to controlling and creating mindless servants that would do his bidding".

"Okay that sounds crazy," Erica added.

"Well with his mind control experiments he was able to make people into idiot savants. He had groups that were mechanics, cooks, gardeners, security and even hackers. He had people believing he was a god and they worshipped him. This adulation went to his head and then he started making mistakes. He was getting careless with purchases and appearances in a near by town. Well that peaked our interest. We started surveillance of his estate. Then we had several agents disappear along with sightings of missing persons. So we were building a case against him for kidnapping as well as other charges that were being looked into," Lucy continued to explain as the mood of the room stayed somber and Renee started to stir.

Renee came around and Lucy was very attentive to her. Renee took her time adjusting herself to the realization that the people she thought she had buried several months ago were all standing there around her. After several minutes they all moved into the living room. Renee sat next to Lucy on the one of the small love seats. Christy Jenna Erica and Vic all squeezed in on the couch opposite the love seat.

"Erica, stop hogging all the room," Vic said with a smile as he pushed into Erica. Erica just jabbed Vic in the ribs with an elbow, which caused Vic to winch in pain. This caused Renee to smile and let out a slight chuckle.

"Will you two knock it off! You aren't the only ones on the couch here you know," Jenna said in a motherly tone.

"Yes mom," Erica and Vic said in unison as they both laughed.

"Well ignores those two. I would like to hear more about that Magnus guy," Christy said as she looked over to Lucy, hoping she would finish her story.

Lucy looked at Renee and Renee looked back into Lucy eyes and she nodded her head. "It is all coming back to me slowly but it is coming back to me," Renee told Lucy.

Lucy smiled then turned her attention to the roommates who were patiently waiting. Lucy took a deep breath and then began, "Okay lets see. I left off with Magnus making mistakes. The FBI was catching on and that is when we were sent in. We came in quietly to the town and started snooping around. We came across some more evidence that allowed us to make a move. Unfortunately our back up was nonexistent and there was some unrest in the compound that caused everything to go wrong".

Lucy took a moment then she continued her tale, "What we did not know at the time was that a few captives were planning a break. As we got there the break out had been discovered and Renee and I got separated. The next thing I know is there is a lot of gunfire and we were both captured. The people who were making a break for it had gotten away. I was able to help them escape just before I got caught".

"Well from there we were stripped of our clothes and forced to wear some god awful jumpsuit. Then Dr. Magnus began his mind-altering experiments. It turns out I was not susceptible to his mind altering. Renee was reacting strangely to it. It turns out her mind was fighting it in an entirely unique way that would have left her a vegetable if we had not been able to escape," Lucy said as she subconsciously squeezed Renee.

"Well the people that escaped had gotten some help and were able to break back in as several agents stormed the compound. I was in bad shape at the time and we had made it to the lab. That is where Magnus was shot by Renee after he shot her". Renee stroked her arm that had been shot as she recalled the incident.

"It took several months for us to get over our injuries. During that time is when we found out about Renee's other memories. At first she could not recall anything that had just happened just that you were all dead. It seems that with everything that had happened this was the only defense her mind could come up with".

"Wow that is strange that you would have created a whole scenario created that had us dead," Erica said as she motioned with her hands as she said us.

"That same world that my mind created was almost my permanent reality," Renee answered Erica.

"Wow that is scary," Jenna added.

"Yeah it is but really scares me is that it all seemed to come back. I hope that I don't have to worry about relapsing all the time and then worrying about if I can come back," Renee quietly said, as the room got quiet.

Vic stood up and said, "Hey hopefully this is just a one time deal. It was probably brought on by everything that has been going on in your life recently and it was your bodies way of telling you hey I need a break". Vic waited for a response after he finished talking.

"You might be right there has been a lot going on," Renee said with a smile. "I do need to get my head on straight. I was letting a supervisor get the best of me and it was stressing me pretty bad. So it probably was just everything coming to a head and causing the relapse," Renee added.

"Sounds about right," Lucy added as she gave Renee a squeeze of reassurance.

"Well now that we got everything under control I have to get some work done," Vic announced as he stood up. "I have to upload the pictures from last night cd release party otherwise our clients will be pissed off at us," Vic finished as he started to head out of the room.

"Have fun, and try not to post any real embarrassing shots of any of us please," begged Christy as she tried to recall what she did last night in front of the camera.

"Don't worry Christy you did nothing wrong. Erica on the other hand has a lot to worry about," Vic shouted from down the hall.

Erica's eyes went wide open as the memories of last night's party came flooding back. "You better post the pictures I think you are talking about!" screamed Erica as she jumped up from her seat and went charging down the hall to intercept Vic.

"It is nice to see some things never change," Renee said with a smile.

"So how long have you had the record company?" Lucy asked Jenna and Christy.

"Well we set up Roomies Records about six months back. Our goal was to get some local bands signed as well as some bands we have know about for some time that haven't gotten a break yet," Christy explained.

"Yeah we don't have the big bucks like the big companies but we have some backing from our parent company Island Records," Jenna added.

"So last night G Stacey's cd 'Lawless Love' was the second cd we released," Christy continued to explain as Lucy and Renee watched Christy and Jenna talk about there new company.

"The first cd we released was by Chixxx. They are an alternative band with a slight punk sound," Christy said.

"Yeah they have an edgy sound almost like Kittie. The cd is still selling fairly well locally in the tri state area. We are trying to get them picked up to tour wit a larger act," Jenna then said.

"Last nights band rocks with out the edge. Luckily they have been picked to tour with several bands. We should be getting the info shortly so we can let the band know what there schedule will be," Christy said as she looked at Jenna to continue the discussion.

"Yeah right now they have a couple of shows to play. One tomorrow in the city, another in Connecticut at Foxwoods and then one in Atlantic City at the Trump Taj Mahal. So they are a little busy for the next week," Jenna added with a smile.

"Sounds like you have your hands full then," Lucy said with a smile. "How is your band doing then?" Lucy asked.

"Well it is fine. We practice and play gigs fairly regularly and it seems we play in more clubs since Vic and Jenna did shift," Christy explained. "It seems that club owners like a band that has three half naked women up front and a guy in the rear hidden by the drum kit," Christy added.

"Doesn't that bother you?" asked Renee.

"No, we use it to our advantage," Jenna began to explain. "We play the clubs get to know the owners then we get them to book our talent. We do what we can to get the bands out there," Jenna finished.

"I see your point. You do what you have to," Renee replied.

"Yeah but we have fun with it. Plus Erica and I have helped right some music with some of the bands," Christy said.

"So the studio is getting used a lot then?" Lucy asked.

"Oh yeah, six days a week the studio is being used. There should be a band coming down later," Jenna said. "Who is coming today?" Jenna asked Christy.

"I think it is Penalty Kill," Christy answered Jenna.

"Penalty Kill is coming today," Jenna said in a mildly shocked voice. "I was hoping they were done. I have never seen a band that could not get together on one idea with out an argument," Jenna finished saying as she shook her head.

"Kind of ironic if you think about it," Lucy began to say.

Jenna and Christy laughed after what Lucy had just said. Renee looked a little confused which made it all that much funnier to Jenna and Christy when they realized that Renee was lost.

"To have a successful penalty kill the group has to work together in harmony otherwise it will fail," Jenna explained to Renee.

"Oh okay I see what you mean then," Renee smiled.

Then loud screaming could be heard from down the hall and then Erica shouting, "Put me down you over grown imbecile!"

Everyone turned towards the hallway and saw Vic coming their way with Erica tossed over his shoulder. Jenna looked over at Christy and they both shook their heads, as they knew nothing good could come of this.

Vic entered the living room and dumped Erica unceremoniously on to the floor. "You are causing me way to much grief. You should have thought about what you were doing for the camera last night," Vic scolded Erica as she looked up at him and everyone sat there looking on.

"I am management so you can't embarrass me on the bands website," whined Erica.

"We will see about that," Vic answered as he turned to walk away.

As Vic left the room, Erica still sat there pouting. "I can't believe he is going to post those pictures of me groping those half naked women and mooning the camera".

"Well I am sure Vic will use some discretion," Jenna said as she broke out in laughter.

"Yeah you are screwed," Christy chimed in as she started to laugh. Lucy and Renee just smiled and shook their heads as Erica looked more dejected then before.

"I'm management he can't do this to me".